The Last Bit of Us – An After the Affair Extra

Important Notice: This novel includes content unsuitable for individuals under the age of 16.  The material encompasses, but is not limited to, strong language, drug use, sexually explicit content, suicidal attempts, and violent themes. Reader discretion is strongly advised.

Legal Disclaimer: The events and particulars depicted herein are drawn from the recollection, imagination, and personal diaries of Sarah Markham-Hall. Certain scenes are fictionalized and dramatized for content and may not accurately reflect the true sequence or occurrence of events. Names and locations have been modified to safeguard the privacy of individuals involved. No harm or injury was inflicted upon anyone during the writing of this novel.

Do you ever hear a song and instantly, a film reel starts playing in your mind, capturing the exact moment in your life when that melody was the soundtrack? That’s how it’s always been for me. My life’s movie plays on an endless loop in my head. It’s both a gift and a curse. Lately, though, it feels more like a curse, perhaps even a form of punishment.

I suppose I should provide some context to explain why this song takes me back to that chilly November evening in 2011, when I visited Justin at his home in Lake Worth. We hadn’t spoken in over a year, except for a single phone call a few months earlier, informing me that Angela had miscarried Baby Lambert. The entire situation surrounding Lambert and the surrogacy had filled me with so much anger that I wanted nothing to do with it. Adding to that, Justin was deeply resentful and disgusted with me for choosing Kristopher and staying married to him. His inability to move past it created a rift between us that felt different this time—more permanent. We had endured long periods of silence before, but this time, I feared we might never recover.

However, we made a pact when we were teenagers. “A pact made in blood will always remain,” we had vowed. The agreement was simple: no matter where life took us, if either of us texted 911, the other would immediately call to check in. We honored that pact, which is why, when he texted 911 on that chilly November evening in 2011, I called back.

Our conversation was brief. I heard everything I needed and was done with the games. Elliot was headed to prison, and this time there was no magic “get out of jail free” card. At least not for Elliot. Somehow, Justin always managed to escape the consequences of his actions. Elliot committed the crime, but I could never believe Justin was entirely innocent.

Before that night, I had never laid a hand on anyone in anger. But that night, I did. The rage, I guess you could say, had been simmering for the past decade. Come on, he deserved it. I could tally up the countless times he had slapped me across the face, the occasions he pressed a knife against my wrist, threatening harm, and that horrifying night when he and Mr. Black forced me into the back seat of a car and took me for a drive. We can all agree—he had it coming.

Another year passed without us speaking. During that time, things began to unravel with Kristopher. There were moments when I wanted to reach for my phone and text 911, but my anger held me back. Perhaps life had finally driven a wedge between us. I convinced myself that Kristopher was my punishment—I held onto that belief for years. He was what I deserved after everything that had happened, and a part of me still believes it to this day. But as Elliot once asked, “How long are you going to punish yourself?” Eventually, the self-inflicted torment must end.

Writing these novels has proven tougher than I expected, but here we are. I’ll eventually move beyond chapter 2. Until then, this song will find its place in the soundtrack of “After the Affair Book 1.”

However, I’m grateful that in December of 2012, I received the 911 text. Without it, many stories wouldn’t have unfolded, and none of us would be where we are today.

“A pact made in blood will always remain.”

The Last Bit Of Us
Song by
Dean Lewis

This is the last night, I wish I could stop time

It is what it is

I’m saying goodbye to the love of my life

Like we didn’t exist

I hope you find someone who makes you feel

Like you’re good enough

Cause this is the last this is the last bit of us

Stay in this moment, I just wanna hold it

As long as we can

I’ll always be looking for you in the distance

Wherever I am

And someday I’ll see your face in a crowded place

And it won’t hurt as much

Cause this is the last this is the last bit of us

So goodbye my love

So goodbye my love

When I’m in the darkness, the sadness it hits me

When I think I’m fine

It’s hard not to text you, have someone to talk to

In the dead of the night

When I’m going under, you were always there

To pull me up

But this is the last this is the last bit of us

So goodbye my love

So goodbye my love

Cause this is the sound of me losing you

And this is the sound of you losing me too

Cause this is the sound of me losing you

And this is the sound of you losing me

So goodbye my love

So goodbye my love

So goodbye my love

So goodbye my love