An Affair of the Mind Excerpt
“I don’t think I can do it,” I said defeatedly into the phone line.
“Do what?” He asked half paying attention as Jenny was begging him for an afternoon snack.
“Finish the book,” I stated.
“What?” He asked suddenly listening as he gave into his daughter to focus his full attention on me. “What?” He repeated again.
“What if there is a reason after twenty years I never published it? What if James was right all along? Maybe publishing it is a mistake. It’s been twenty years. No one cares until I hit that publish button and old wounds are brought back up,” I explained.
“Where is this coming from? Screw James fucking Black! He has been the pain of our existence for far too long. He is just a miserable, depressed, almost forty year old who played it safe the last twenty years and has far too many regrets about it. Screw him!” Justin exclaimed.
“But what if he is right? What if there is that one person out there who believes it all and puts all the pieces together,” I said again.
“Where is this coming from all of a sudden, Ann?” He exclaimed into the phone line. I knew in Justin’s voice when he was truly concerned about me, because he usually never called me Ann. It was always Ms. Mathews. “We did not spend the last 18 years of our life on this series of books for you to give up now. You are five chapters away from being done with Part 1. You already published the Death of Michael Hart Versions 1 and 2 back in 2009! You may have taken them down publicly and put a password behind them, but you still hit that publish button and it was still public for a good period of time. No password protection can undo that. You know that! So where is this coming from? What did Kristopher say to you?”
“Woah! Why do you suddenly think Kristopher said something?” I laughed.
“Because every damn time you call me upset, depressed, or fearful it involves that bastard! I should have just taken care of him when I wanted too and none of this would have happened!”
“Justin! Stop!” I yelled into the phone. “Kristopher didn’t do or say anything. I just can’t shake this feeling that maybe James was right all along. Maybe publishing this is a mistake,” I stated.
“Look, Ann! We have a daughter now and I have a son. If I felt that you publishing those books would in anyway jeopardize their future, I wouldn’t let you do it,” he stated. “Look we created Parts 2 and 3 for a reason, Ann. Get James Black out of your mind and finish the damn book!” He yelled. “Besides, Tommy Lenal cannot be the only one to put his version of events onto paper! The world needs your version!”
“You just had to mention that didn’t you?” I laughed.
“Well, it’s true! We can’t let Tom have the last say! You have to put your version of the truth out there. Also, we cannot make Part 2 and 3 into best selling novels without you finishing the first Part!” He chuckled.
“I still don’t know what direction I’m going with Part 3. The version we created that will sell more novels or the truth,” I sighed.
“You want my honest opinion?” He asked. “Do the version that sells the most books! The truth comes out in the Epilogue anyway. Might as well make money on our insanity. Like I said, we spent 7 years creating 2 and 3 and almost 20 years now living the entire series. Write it, publish it and fuck what James Black thinks! He lost having a say in any of this a long time ago!”
- An Affair of the Mind Part 1 – the final chapters are coming soon! Consequences be damned, right?
Legal Disclaimer: The events and particulars depicted herein are drawn from the recollection, imagination, and personal diaries of Sarah Markham-Hall spanning the years 2001 to 2010. Certain scenes are fictionalized and dramatized for content and may not accurately reflect the true sequence or occurrence of events. Names and locations have been modified to safeguard the privacy of individuals involved. No harm or injury was inflicted upon anyone during the writing of this novel.